Recently, I feel like life is a juggling act, trying to prioritize my children.
There is of course the obvious juggle of trying to prioritize two twins, both of whom want my attention, care and love 24/7. Every moment that both babies are awake involves some degree of choice: Who is the most hungry and who might be able to hold off for 20 minutes? Who needs the most attention and who might be content playing alone on a mat? Who gets loaded into the car first and who has to amuse themselves in the house for 2 more minutes? Through trial and error, and learning each babies’ personality, each one of these decisions becomes less and less of a gamble with more success than error.
But I also have a third child. In fact, it’s my first born. 9 years ago I started Acting Up Stage. Like my twins, I have devoted hundreds of sleepless nights and round the clock care to this organization. It has demanded more of my attention than I could ever imagine possible over the years, and I have grown to love it deeply, wanting to protect, advance and nurture it. And yet, I have committed to walk away from it for 6 months with the arrival of my twins.
Some days I feel like a bad parent. A bad parent to Acting Up Stage that I can’t be as present this year as in year’s past, and anticipating a continued split focus for many years to come. And, a bad parent to the twins as my mind constantly turns to Acting Up Stage even while I’m caring for them, thinking about how to keep programming relevant shows, balance impossible budgets, and maintain a forward moving strategic direction.
I wish the day had more hours. I wish I could be in two places at once. How do other people do it? Has anyone out there found any tricks?
I am so thankful that I love my job so deeply. It has brought me more satisfaction than I could imagine possible. But it definitely plays a major role in my life, my thoughts and my heart. I hope that the twins learn to love their older sibling so we can all coexist as one big family!